Found myself standing at the edge of the dancefloor staring at women. Friday was drawing to a close and it looked as if I was heading home for a lonely night. God I felt like a failure.
Then I realised that someone was staring back. I smiled suggestively, it appeared to work. After swallowing a bucket I find non verbal communication the most effective approach. We met mid dancefloor and started to move in that shuffling way that only drunks can. She looked good, about 5'3", wavy mousey hair and a pretty face. Some conversation was exchanged, I established that she was a student called Andrea with a vaguely Antipodean twang. I asked if she was Australian and she laughed and said no I'm from Chatham. Then I kissed her. Got to act before you drive them off, more men should do this, it would avoid loads of marital strife.
After about ten minutes of near frenzied snogging I suggested we head back to my place. She refused and suggested her place was nearer. Fine by me, its a lot easier to leave than it is to try and kick out a guest who outstays her welcome.
Her place was one of those typical student terraced houses that stinks of tobacco, dope and joss-sticks. Upstairs we got straight into bed, no messing and not much talking. Her body was pleasingly plump but well tanned with little breasts enhanced by wonderfully pointy nipples. After pumping like pistons for ten minutes or so, we slowed down. I thought conversation was going to break out but I could see she was just falling asleep and trying new stuff to keep awake. I knew the game was up when she fell asleep mid BJ. I gently disconnected her and went to sleep.
After an hour I sparked back into life but my little Andrea was still snoring happily. Like a true gent I hopped out of bed, got dressed and left. There's nothing worse than sticking around for breakfast with a woman who won't have a clue who you are or where she met you.
